My inevitable bad news...

My nurse called me today to tell me my bloodwork results... they weren't good. My HCG #'s haven't been doubling like they're supposed to, but I was still in the game. I had bloodwork done on 11/10 and I was at HCG 505 and progesterone 18.... today my HCG was only 1,225 and progesterone dropped to 9. She said sorry... it's either a biochemical pregnancy or a blighted ovum. I won't find out for sure until tomorrow, but either way I don't have a baby in there anymore. I am so completely and totally crushed... I knew my numbers weren't doubling like they wanted them to, but I was still trying so hard to stay optimistic. This is my first pregnancy and my first loss and I feel numb and I don't really even know what to think now. I need to wait until my u/s tomorrow to find out what method they'll be using to ... well .. anyway... either D & C or the meds (the nurse said I'll probably be ok to use the meds). I just figured I'd update everyone. Now I just hope we don't have to take too much time off... I don't want to waste any more time.
Answers:

Oh you guys are so amazing! It really makes my heart swell to read all of your posts. Thank you. As for my u/s update... well (I'm going to keep this short if I can) I'm feeling rather confused. The nurse who called me yesterday said that based on the numbers, I was experiencing either blighted ovum or biochemical preg... and the only reason I was doing the u/s was to basically confirm this (she said they were about 99.9% sure that I would be miscarrying). My DH and I went through hell last night... basically mourning our loss. And when the RE did the u/s today he pointed out that the embryo (I think that's what it's called at this stage) was infact implanted in the correct location... and there was a yolk sac... and if it weren't for the poor HCG levels, he'd say I have a perfectly normal pregnancy at this stage! He pointed out there was slight leaking/bleeding near the egg (but he said that is common in normal pregnancies). So... this sounded like great news that the egg was developing properly... BUT he told us that in reality there is still only a 10% chance that this will result in an actual pregnancy. Even though it looks normal, it could stop developing/growing any time now (and based on the numbers, he said that's pretty much inevitable). I have another u/s next Tuesday. He said I should have more answers at that u/s. Basically by next week I should have a fetus growing in there... so if there isn't a fetus yet, then I will definetly miscarry.. if there IS a fetus and it has a very healthy heartbeat, then I should be ok... but if there is a fetus and the heartbeat is weak or slow, I'll still be in the gray area and will most likely have to do another u/s. I'd actually be excited about all of this except for the fact that 10% is just such a small percentage! I hate, hate, hate to get my hopes up for such a small chance that it's not over after all... I still have hope for it, but after how hard last night was for us, I don't have it in me to get my hopes up, then have them crushed all over again next week. Anyway... you guys were all so great about sending me support and comfort... I would greatly appreciate any prayers or happy thoughts you can aim in my general direction (even if just in your head)! I'm being a realist here.. it's just easier that way. Thanks everyone.


I am so sorry to hear your news. It is so hard. My husband & I have only been seeing an RE for a year now & I feel like I can't handle this anymore. I had an IUI done, which did not work. I recently went through my first IVF & transferred 2 embryos. 1 resulted in an early m/c & I thought that was going to be it. I did not think the other stuck at all. When I went in to have my bloodwork checked, my beta level was going up. They found out, the other was in my tube. This past week I had to get a shot of methotrexate to stop it from growing in my tube. I hope it works. I have heard stories where the medication does not work, but the dr said they caught is early so it should be OK. I go for bloodwork tomorrow to check my beta level. Now I am so upset because I thought I was going to be able to try my FET in December or January, but they want me to have ANOTHER HSG done to check my tubes again. If there is nothing wrong with my tubes, I can maybe try again in Feb/Mar, but if there is something wrong, I may need to have surgery. On top of all that, my ins will cap out at a certain amount of money & I am scared that the surgery (for the tubes) will make it go over & then I don't know what I am going to do. The only reason I am writing all of this is because I felt the same way when I heard all my bad news, but then I come on this site & hear what other people have to say & I don't feel like I am the only one out there. My dr told me to go to my family dr & get some anxiety medication. I don't know if that is really the right thing to do right now.

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